so for three years i worked at a paint on pottery studio in lenexa/shawnee. our boss was an extremist religious nut who only let us listen to 102.1. of course, this meant 24/7 holiday music during the holiday season (which could get very fucking annoying). this experience has made me quite an expert on christmas music (similarly, i consider myself an expert on rod stewart music as well).

this year i have not really been in the christmas spirit, so i decided to download three hours worth of christmas music hypothesizing that it might make me feel better. after three days of this experiment, i'd say that it has slightly positively affected my mood. the other thing that has positively affected my mood is the fact that i had a snow day today. this allowed me to sleep in until 11:00 and eat candy cane jojos and watch days of our lives. i am full of win today.

my current status and available time has lead me to list my top five christmas songs (not in any particular order because i'm not into showing favoritism):

1) Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC.


this needs no further explanation.

2) I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by Gayla Peevey

i realize how silly this song is and that's why i love it. haven't you always wanted a hippo for christmas? that would fucking freak my parents out. i also like the thought of my parents saying that it would eat me, and my teacher countering that "hippo is a vegetarian." genius.

3) Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy by Bowie and Bing

fucking awesome. i like bing even if he, like, beat his children. so eff off.

4) Run Run Rudolph by Chuck Berry

this video is awesome, by the way. anyway, this is the best x-mas song to dance to and wasn't it in home alone? amazingness.

5) Father Christmas by the Kinks

i picked this one mostly because of how embarrassing this list has become. i am a pretentious dickhead and needed to repair my street cred. that's all.

close runners-up:
*blue christmas by elvis-- as much as i hate the douche for profiting off of racism, i love this song.
*mele kalikimaka by bing crosby-- loved because of its association with the greatest christmas movie ever
*all i want for christmas is you by mariah carey-- because it's mariah fucking carey.
*carol of the bells-- because it was my favorite x-mas song to sing when i was in choir.
*merry christmas, happy holidays by n'sync-- because i suck.