courtney left monday night and april left tuesday while i was at work, so i've been alone in this apartment for one point five days. after a full day of taking out the trash, working, watching "top chef" and cleaning up cat vom, i am really to get the hell out of here. with any luck i will be in texas by 2:00 p.m. tomorrow. keep your fingers crossed!

so for three years i worked at a paint on pottery studio in lenexa/shawnee. our boss was an extremist religious nut who only let us listen to 102.1. of course, this meant 24/7 holiday music during the holiday season (which could get very fucking annoying). this experience has made me quite an expert on christmas music (similarly, i consider myself an expert on rod stewart music as well).

this year i have not really been in the christmas spirit, so i decided to download three hours worth of christmas music hypothesizing that it might make me feel better. after three days of this experiment, i'd say that it has slightly positively affected my mood. the other thing that has positively affected my mood is the fact that i had a snow day today. this allowed me to sleep in until 11:00 and eat candy cane jojos and watch days of our lives. i am full of win today.

my current status and available time has lead me to list my top five christmas songs (not in any particular order because i'm not into showing favoritism):

1) Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC.


this needs no further explanation.

2) I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by Gayla Peevey

i realize how silly this song is and that's why i love it. haven't you always wanted a hippo for christmas? that would fucking freak my parents out. i also like the thought of my parents saying that it would eat me, and my teacher countering that "hippo is a vegetarian." genius.

3) Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy by Bowie and Bing

fucking awesome. i like bing even if he, like, beat his children. so eff off.

4) Run Run Rudolph by Chuck Berry

this video is awesome, by the way. anyway, this is the best x-mas song to dance to and wasn't it in home alone? amazingness.

5) Father Christmas by the Kinks

i picked this one mostly because of how embarrassing this list has become. i am a pretentious dickhead and needed to repair my street cred. that's all.

close runners-up:
*blue christmas by elvis-- as much as i hate the douche for profiting off of racism, i love this song.
*mele kalikimaka by bing crosby-- loved because of its association with the greatest christmas movie ever
*all i want for christmas is you by mariah carey-- because it's mariah fucking carey.
*carol of the bells-- because it was my favorite x-mas song to sing when i was in choir.
*merry christmas, happy holidays by n'sync-- because i suck.

wow, now i have truly witnessed someone have one of the worst days ever. no, your boy problems and social issues caused by cattiness don't compare. no, my fights with my parents, forced loneliness and "money woes" don't compare. shut the fuck up and stop your bitching (this goes for me too).

i watched a women, who has breast cancer, a mother who is senile and just lost her OTHER leg to diabetes, has already been let go once this year, fucking walk out of our office smiling right after she was informed that her department had been shut down and she would be let go. jesus christ. that's the kind of attitude that you and i need to have. so let's fucking do something about it! stop being bitter, stop treating other people like shit because you are bored or "depressed" or whatever, and start fucking take action to make your life and other people's lives better.

that goes for me too.


on a totally different note, please get this for christmas. it's amazing.

it should be illegal to be this cold.

i keep seeing the most attractive men on the train. unfortunately i've been going through this thing where my nose/mouth region is so numb that i can't feel the snotsicles forming. i've never been one to impress men anyway and i'm sure the red chafed face and frozen mucus all over my face is not really helping.

i kind of like the video of barney decorating the white house:

i wish we had a christmas tree :(. i should be getting my car back early next week but that's probably too late to get a tree. oh well. maybe i'll get a wreath or something. i just don't feel very christmas-y right now.

i don't remember much from year 23.
it went from:
bargle.
going out every night.
my cousin's death.
jana's murder.
gas prices being $3.50 a gallon.
economy dying.
friends growing apart.
no clue what i want to be when i grow up.

to:
friends growing closer.
the entire six feet under series in one month.
courtney returning.
big move.
new job.
hermit city.
complete range of emotions re: my parents.
no clue what i want to be when i grow up.

i absolutely hate new year's so instead i'll make birthday resolutions. i'll post them here to keep myself accountable:
1) lose weight
2) have a better attitude about everything
3) stop being scared to make a decision about what career path i want to follow
4) pay off most of my debt/stop spending frivolously
5) make a better effort to stay in touch with the people who actually care about me (and vice versa)

they sound so generic, but they aren't. and i will do my best to get that shit done.

blagojevich the musical

it's my last day of being 23. to celebrate, i bought some allergy medication and a shower hair catcher. woo.

best parts from blagojevich the musical:

ROD BLAGOJEVICH:
John. You’re blinking. Why?
Is there something in your eye?

JOHN HARRIS:
Winking, not blinking
My God, you’re slow
No wonder your numbers
Are so low
---------------------

[The next day, federal agents arrest ROD BLAGOJEVICH and JOHN HARRIS.]

JOHN HARRIS:
This is just outrageous!

ROD BLAGOJEVICH:
What are you implying?

ARRESTING AGENT:
When you get to jail
Say hi to George Ryan

i thought this was a dream...but it wasn't:

FNAPPY

worst part of my job? um, the whole "dying from breast cancer" issue. i spent part of yesterday looking at the setup of bulletin boards on other breast cancer support sites and found "young survivors coalition" with a remembrance board. basically, people post obituaries/memories of young women (under 40) dying from breast cancer. crying at work, good times.

i am assuming it affected me later when courtney and i watched the sopranos (spoiler below):























so courtney and i drank wine and watched the end of the second season. of course, i knew that pussy was going to get killed and courtney's already seen the show but jesus christ...both of us started crying when they killed him. it was hilarious in retrospect because dude was a mobster. and we were crying. bahahahha, ugh.

we don't look alike
but our expressions do.

how would you like to be a water pistol that shoots jelly?

that's what we said: ATTN FRIENDS: PLEASE POST MORE BABY PICTURES IF YOU HAVE THEM

i think that's all i have....for now....

today i was the only person working on my floor again. it was > fun. i really hate the hilton for recording our conference sessions on cassette tapes. it makes everything a real pain in the ass. hey, want to hear my voice? Go here and listen to the intro/outro on the last four podcasts. wowie, SOMEBODY GET ME A JOB AT NPR! no, don't, i love my job. well...actually, if you know someone at NPR, get me a job there. okay? and i might leave my job that i love very much for it. you know...because it's NPR.

sometimes i wish i had been a physics teacher.

i'm flying to kansas city tomorrow...if i wake up in time.

yay.

i saw this today:

this is the baha'i temple, the only one in north america and one of seven temples in the world. it's in wilmette so it's only a twenty minute drive; i wish it was a little closer because it would be an amazing place to visit and meditate each day, but i'm glad i'm close enough to go...ever.

...and then, later that night, we sat in a mexican restaurant in boystown and graded papers.

april has been painting shoes.

courtney isn't drunk.

but she said, "CAN YOU PAINT ME VERA BRADLEY SHOES? OOOOOOH, NO, HANDKERCHIEF SHOES? OOOOOOOH NO, NO NO. I GOT IT. OOOOOOOOOOOOH, TOOTSIE ROLL POP WRAPPER SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Bee skit @ (Nov 15 2008)
by thebeyoncenetwork

part 2.

Family Guy: Jaws 5 | Funny Jokes at JibJab

april and i are sitting around, watching tv.

i just saw the funniest family guy clip EVER.

i don't know if any of you watch good morning america, but i do and i adore robin roberts.

that's a picture of robin the first time she ever took her wig off on-air (she has triple negative breast cancer). anyway, i got to meet her today because she spoke at a conference my organization put together. she's kind of awesome.

anyone still in shock? i am. when i was volunteering last november, i never thought barack would be president. when i caucused in february, i never thought barack would be president. even in the days before the election, as i heard that even KARL ROVE predicted a landslide victory, i never thought barack would be president. i don't know what that says about me, probably that i'm negative and judgmental. i don't think i could be any prouder of my country than i am right now. i've never been an america-hater, and i love government and politics, but i never thought that i would help elect a black president at 23.

you know who i wish was alive to see this? besides the obvious, obama's grandma, mlk, even former governor george wallace...?

"And although it seems heaven sent, we ain't ready, to see a black President..." - tupac, 1998 (sort of...)

i wish he could see this.

two songs i'm loving:

"dead and gone" by t.i. feat. justin timberlake


"vote however you like" ....sort of by t.i.

i would like some feta cheese.



thank god there are people in chicago who will either watch ANTM with me or college football with me. that is something i need.

i spoke too soon.

well, it's the last day of my favorite month. it was a pretty good month. i mean, there was a lot of crying involved but i moved and that's tough. other than the process of moving and having to leave people i love and miss, this october has been pretty good. i assume that patrick (the other october=favorite monther) will concur. +1 for october 2008. thanks!

i also feel it necessary to report that my grandparents bought me some uggs and i really like them. first of all, they are black and tall and there is no visible fur. i do not plan to wear them over my sweatpants or while wearing a tube top. i'm sure you were very worried. but seriously, how do people wear uggs in the summer? i was wearing them in 40 degree weather and my feet were sweating. SO anyway, yes. i have some uggs. yes, i do wear them. yes, they are insanely comfortable. judge quietly.

i feel like adding the following to my facebook profile:

dislikes
-adobe indesign
-bank of america
-automated withdrawals without my permission
-inaccurate directions
-our cats (at the moment)
-caramel apples (does anyone want mine? seriously?)
-hummus served really cold and without pita bread, whaaaa
-that, for once, my life is semi-okay and yet almost EVERYONE i know is sad or frustrated or angry about something and that i can't do anything about it even though i really really really really really want to be able to fix it.
-voting for the same person as p. diddy and aubrey o'day and feeling really disgusted about it

likes
-roommates
-three buck chuck
-halloween and wearing the second-laziest costume ever (for the record, the laziest costume i ever wore was my unabomber costume)
-the bums on our corner (seriously some of the most useful people in the world, they'll save parking spots for you and scream at people who try to steal your spot...for the price of a forty)
-the fact that april calls twix bars "tubes"
-wondering what goes through the minds of bouncers when ten people in a row come in with kansas IDs
-my mattress. it is awesome.
-my green coat from target. it is awesome.
-SULTANS!!!!!!!!

jay: i'm good, just riding the snake.


e-mail from my grandpa:

Did you hear about the guy who had a large collection of vinyl records that included quite a few of Baroque music?

Someone told him that if you coated the records with Vicks Vaporub that would fill in all the scratches an the record would sound like it did when it was new. Since he had quite few records he hired a kid to coat them for him. The kid asked for final instructions before he started on the project. The guy said, 'If it ain't Baroque, don't Vicks it!"

love love love
work work work
sneeze sneeze sneeze
walk walk walk
sneeze type type
backspace
chew chew gulp
drink drink drink (beer)
pet pet pet
go go go (to trader joe's)
sneeze shiver groan
bump bump bump (like B2K)
bump bump bump (into people on the train)
spend spend spend
sneeze talk snore
miss miss cry miss
shower
lounge
sigh

also,
this picture is way more depressing than funny:

well, well, well.

1) i have now worked one full week at the breast cancer network of strength. my old job at KU was an hourly position so i was really anal about not staying a minute past 5:00 p.m. this job is salaried so i'm experiencing the whole "leave anytime after 5:00 p.m. as long as all of your work is done"-- and there is a lot of work. this isn't necessarily bad or anything, but now i understand why my dad always got home around 6:30 p.m. every night.

my job is wonderful. breast cancer network of strength is an organization that focuses on immediate support and information for breast cancer patients, survivors, care givers and advocates. i didn't consider the emotional toll that it might take-- several of the women (and one guy!) who work there have or had breast cancer (two of whom died in september before i started working) and of course most of the people i'll be in contact have or had breast cancer. but it's worth it as long as i'm in a job where i feel like i'm making a positive contribution to society.

basically, my job is to:

• update the main web site
• update the web site of 17 affiliates
• do all e-mail marketing for the organization
• track visitors/page visits/other marketing statistics
• answer the main e-mail that goes to the organization
• edit all print marketing
• act as an ambassador for the organization at our events (i get to meet robin roberts from GMA in november!)
  

so yeah, i love it. a lot. i'm really lucky.

2) this past weekend was really fun. seeing joey for the first time in several years was great, seeing everyone from lawrence (a really good crowd!) was really great and i couldn't have asked for a better time (well...maybe if i had had a little less to drink and more memories from friday...). saturday morning everyone came to our neighborhood to check out the apartment and then we all had breakfast at this amazing mexican restaurant near our house-- food was REALLY good, but seriously a bad call for some of us with major hangovers. last night, the people who didn't ride home in the van ate at sultan's (and i think i'm going to become a regular there). then jason, shanti, courtney, gabe and i hung out at jason's apartment and watched news bloopers and several 'it's always sunny' episodes and talked about things like teeth falling out in dreams.

3) danielle warned me that i would get sick a couple weeks after moving to chicago and she was right. i basically got really sick last night and into this morning. luckily i'm a packrat and had a bunch of drugs saved over from the last time i had a cold so i think i've tamed it and i'm feeling a little better. but yeah, that sucked!

4) my grandparents bought me a mattress. it. is. awesome.

i think that's it. i miss everyone a lot! i'd definitely love to hear from everyone and hopefully i can make it back to lawrence/kc sometime in the spring to visit. yay!

things are good. things would be GREAT if i had some money, but it seems like everyone is in that position so i can't really complain. things would also be GREAT if some lawrencians who shall remain nameless would just move here already (i'm including katie and patrick in that category even if they aren't lawrencians).

things i appreciate about chicago right now:
-leaves falling from the trees
-random cuban independence parades
-dogs, dogs, dogs
-a wide variety of restaurants to choose from (costa rican to barbecue to french to smoked gouda mac n' cheese)
-courtney, wink and walt
-friends that i haven't seen yet but feel comforted knowing that they are here
-the fact that i don't feel weird staying in on a friday night to drink three buck chuck and watch 'harold and maude' for the first time

how are things with you?

hired. by the breast cancer place. i'm not sure what else. but i start on monday.

i bought a megabus ticket for thanksgiving weekend that i'm going to have to reschedule (because my parents are flying me to kc for thanksgiving). i think i just have to reschedule before the trip happens and i think i can reschedule for anytime. so if anyone has any ideas for things coming up in like january and beyond that i should come back (and if someone can pick me up?), let me know. weeeeeee.

we are here.

i am writing you this note from the logan square library. i am typing from a computer in the children's section. i am wearing a suit and waiting for courtney to print her resume and then we will go get hired. we better get hired. i want to buy some furniture.

courtney and i keep going to specific restaurants to eat dinner and they are always closed when we go. friday night we tried to eat pizza but ended up at handlebar (again). saturday night we tried to go to the cozy corner diner but ended up eating mexican. last night we tried to go to irazu (or something costa rican) and ended up eating at penny's. it's been quite an experience.

i really miss everyone.

i still have not heard back from the position for which i interviewed.

even though i have called.

and waited.

and cried.

i am so f**king annoyed right now. i realize that i should be grateful for having had an interview but jesus i don't know whether i'm being impatient or being ignored or what.

i can't remember if i've covered this, but i am terrified of mice. don't ask me why. i don't have a problem with snakes, spiders, bugs, rats (although i think they are gross), hamsters, squirrels or anything else. it's something about mice that creep me out.

anyway, nunemaker had a mouse for two weeks and it liked to play in my trashcan at night. our building's exterminator only set out the poison traps and apparently the mice are supposed to eat the poison, leave the building to look for water and then die die die. that's always seemed suspicious to me but whatever.

so friday, the mouse (which is usually nocturnal) ran past my co-worker/office mate's desk while i was at lunch and i had to spend the rest of my afternoon in another office. i thought that behavior was weird since they don't come out during the day usually and they are typically scared by noise. i think it was starting to go crazy from the poison or something because over the weekend, the mouse died. on my desk. DEAD. ON. MY. DESK.

so this morning i got to work and kept smelling (what i thought was) rotten fruit. turns out the mouse had died under my office plant and behind my speakers. i worked for an hour trying to just ignore the smell and finally got up to ask my office mate to smell my desk (because i thought i was going crazy) and...there it was.

*shudder*

is that bad omen or something? sheesh.

i think i'm going to throw up.

[edit]
sorry to be dramatic. i'm fine, but a major sufferer of butterflies when i get nervous. and i enjoy torturing myself.

if you get bored with watching me throw myself into a panic attack, you can read this l.com blog entry. it's related more to females working with female bosses, but i wonder what you think about the underlying thought: all women secretly hate each other. *i* think it is definitely true, but maybe i'm a mean, disgruntled hater or something.

first and foremost, i went to the hawk.

my friend whitney is friends with john holt (see: fox4 news) and i guess he just knows everyone in lawrence. so we went to the football game (after getting the treatment [see: free beers] at the alumni building) and then went with holt to the hawk afterward. there was a huge line to get in but he walked right up and got all of us these red sparkle bracelets. we passed the line and walked in and downstairs to the martini room which is pretty nice. i did my first (and last) jager bomb and then got a bunch of free drinks. the hawk is pretty much a cave system, there is the main room on the top floor and then you keep going down stairs to other rooms. i DID get to see the boom boom room and its a black lit room with really terrible music. we also walked onto the back deck (which was beautiful) and i got to stand exactly 15 feet away from my love, darnell jackson. the rest of the basketball team was there but i mostly saw teahan, brady morningstar and brandon rush. basically i would never go to the hawk without a VIP bracelet, but i just don't like waiting in a line to get into the place and then waiting in lines to even get into the rooms once you are there.

oh yeah, and after we left the hawk we walked over to the wheel and got a slice of pizza (they have it set up like whatever is at fatsos, you just walk up to the counter and pay for a slice). that was $2.50 of heaven, best fucking pizza ever.

so i went to bed around 1, woke up at 5:45 (still not totally sober) and went to the airport. had yet another not great experience with a plane (i.e. sitting in a plane on the tarmac for two hours before taking off). finally got to danielle's and dave and danielle and i went to eat lunch at handlebar again. FYI, if anyone comes to visit, we have to go eat there because the patio is beautiful and their gouda mac and cheese is delicious. we walked around damen and division and then back to logan square where they showed me some produce stores, the post office, the library and a new food co-op. then we went back, gabe came over and we ate some really good food danielle made (baked apples with oats and cinnamon for dessert). we also played bananagrams, which is an awesome game. i was not good at it but danielle and gabe were ridiculously good and that was fun to watch.

today i had my job interview. i want that job so bad. i would want it even if i weren't desperate for a job, which is a good sign. i think the interview went well overall, there were some things i said that i wish i hadn't, but i think i did the best i could do. i'll hear by the end of this week, which means that i will probably be a stressed-out brat until friday and then my demeanor will really depend on the result. but yeah, i hope hope hope i get that job.

i can't think of anything else, except i met my old neighbors at panzon's and had margaritas after my flight got in. that is only relevant because growing up my parents and i went there once a week (my dad is friends with chuck, the owner) and i always swore that i would drink margaritas there once i turned 21. so i got to do that today and i'm pretty happy.

anyone in the market for a peace lily? thad gave me one on behalf of the ECM and while it's beautiful, lilies are toxic to kitties. so if any of you kittie-less friends would like a peace lily, iz yours.

i'm going to see dressy bessy tonight! weeeoooo.
i'm going to the ku football game tomorrow! oooweeeooo.
sunday is my flight to chicago and then dinner with danielle, gabe and jason. no random noises to express my excitement.

hopefully the next time i write i will be able to report on a successful trip to chicago.

[edit]
joe and beau biden
their cousins moe and zoe biden
their foreign exchange student cho biden
joe and his wife- co-bidens

i may have been drunk?

i move october 3rd, 2008.

i currently have a to-do list that fills out one page. some of the "to-dos" are small, like "return parking permit". some of the "to-dos" are big, like "put together portfolio before sunday". some are ginormous, like "go through stuff/throw stuff out/pack". geez. i really like to-do lists because i like crossing things off and it makes me feel like i've accomplished a lot. i don't like this list because so much of it can't be done until the last minute and a lot of it depends on other people and what works for them. i've given myself an ulcer. shit.

my to-do list at work is working out well at least. that's good.

so i'm going to chicago for about 30 hours. okay? wish me luck on this interview.

and finally, i want you all to see the painting that i have in my office. it's by a girl whose stuff i really enjoy (and picked out last year). it sits above my desk and i literally have it positioned so i can stare at it while i'm at work.


http://www.minervaortiz.com/catfood.htm

i sent her an email to see if i could buy one of her paintings we used to keep in nunemaker. i probably can't afford it but it doesn't hurt to ask.

right?

updates:

• parents are alive and only lost branches. their boat is in the houston area and i'm assuming it's destroyed but hey, what can you do?
• last night's football game was a bummer but hey, what can you do? (hope that today's auburn and alabama games will go better)
• um, i have an interview in chicago on sept. 22nd? woo?! not sure how i'm going to get there, but hey, what can you do? (no really, i have no idea how i'm going to get there)
• did i mention that we got that apartment?! woo! i'm so excited about that one, it goes in my win column.
• courtney arrives tomorrow, yay! this means arthur bryants must happen soon.
  
• i got a little western digital passport harddrive thing on sale the other day and i'm in heaven. hopefully this will give my computer a little bit longer before totally crapping out because i really can't buy a new computer right now.
• working on putting together portfolio is totally a pain in the ass.
• i bought the pilot for dexter on itunes and i'm excited to watch it. this is mostly directed at patrick.
  

i can't remember what else. i don't know if it's appropriate to post details about this job interview but let's just say i would be really super happy if i got this job (and not just from a financial standpoint, i think i would really love this job).

also i can't stand this palin shit, people who are against women's reproductive rights (and rights in general) claiming to be feminists because this woman is running as their vice president. what a joke! if palin was a man, there is absolutely NO WAY anyone would pick him as their VP because guess what, she has NO EXPERIENCE. my dad was the city manager of a town six times bigger than wasilla for 20 years and there's no way he could be a VP. and in the two years she was governor of one of the least populated states in the US, she brought about tons of questions about her ethics. ridiculous. my mom sent me an email with these:

that makes me sick. seriously. mccain picked a woman because he and his campaign managers were trying to fool americans. i wasn't thrilled about the biden pick for a number of reasons but after watching all of this unfold, i will be absolutely disgusted if americans fall for this. on the other hand, if americans DO fall for this then our country deserves these two lunatics. and as i said before, i will move to mars. immediately.

ps here's the video of the dude on galveston island in a bearsuit:


galveston is pretty much gone and houston has lost power and they can't drink any water right now. hopefully the cleanup goes better than it did in new orleans, houston is the fourth highest populated city in america. hurricanes, what a pain in the ass.

if i had to make a top ten list of the worst days of my life, yesterday definitely wasn't the worst but it would be in the top ten.

i resigned from my job unofficially yesterday. i had written out what i was going to say and i walked into my supervisor's office yesterday, shut the door and became hysterical. it was really embarrassing. i had planned to tell everyone else yesterday but just because of how the rest of my day went and how upset i was, i waited until today. today was a lot better-- i think it was just hardest to get over that "wall". i still cried today but mostly it went really well. i just wanted everyone to understand that i really love my job, mostly the people i work with and the freedom/flexibility of my position, but that if i don't leave lawrence now...i will never leave. i would be more than happy to return here but i have to leave first. i think everyone was really understanding.

i don't really want to discuss the rest of my day but i will say that my aunt has been brainwashed by a calvinist and it is pretty shitty. first lecturing my family about how my cousin kent is going to hell because he followed the book of urantia, now unwilling to help her sick mother and using total depravity as an excuse. it is really interesting how crazy religion can make you, and even more interesting how easily someone can be convinced by someone else with whom they are in love. love and religion, really fucked up. 

what else? well, now i feel like a lame duck so i'm just trying to stay out of everyone's hair and get all of my projects done. i'm not worried about work, i'm worried about getting all of personal shit done. i need to see my doctor and a dentist before i go, get my car fixed, sell my desk and see as many people as i can before i leave. i don't think i'll be able to sleep between now and whenever we leave. i am really excited and really fucking freaked out at the same time.

and finally,

THE APARTMENT, WE HAS IT!!!!!!!

i quit my job today.

last night i was driving people home and became embarrassed by the music coming from my radio when i turned the key. i changed the station to 94.9 and remembered how much i love my parents' music. for real. i could listen to righteous brothers forever. god only knows why.

last night was pretty amazing. i remember talking about high fives to different people all night, almost setting a backyard on fire, halfway watching heathers and wishing i had seen it all, and mostly trying to convince kelly hangauer to let me sing with fourth of july in adrianne's place, but only for "why did i drink so much last night?"-- i think i may have tried to convince several others it was a good idea as well. but seriously, i sound really good when i sing her part. just saying.

did you know that the devil's advocate is a real person? i brought the term up the other day because there's some dude at the ECM who always says "now, i'm just playing devil's advocate but [insert really stupid comment]" and i think that he more than likely believes what he's saying but uses the devil's advocate phrase because he doesn't have the balls to share his opinion outright. /rant

anyway, i was telling someone this and they proceeded to tell me that the devil's advocate is a real person hired by the catholic church anytime they go through the process of canonizing a saint. i had no idea-- i figured it was just some stupid cliche that someone pulled out of their ass one time and it caught on.

from wikipedia:

Formerly, during the canonization process of the Roman Catholic Church, the Promoter of the Faith (Latin Promotor Fidei), popularly known as the Devil's Advocate (Latin advocatus diaboli), was a canon lawyer appointed by the Church to argue against the canonization of the candidate.^[1] It was his job to take a skeptical view of the candidate's character, to look for holes in the evidence, to argue that any miracles attributed to the candidate were fraudulent, etc. The Devil's advocate was opposed by God's advocate, whose job was to make the argument in favor of canonization. The office was established in 1587 during the reign of Pope Sixtus V and was abolished by Pope John Paul II in 1983. This abolition streamlined the canonization process considerably, helping John Paul II to usher in an unprecedented number of elevations: nearly 500 individuals were canonized and over 1,300 were beatified during his tenure as Pope as compared to only 98 canonizations by all his 20th-century predecessors.

Such a dramatic increase suggests that the office of the Devil's Advocate had served to reduce the number of canonizations by complicating the process. Some argue that it served a useful role in ensuring that canonizations did not proceed without due care and hence the status of sainthood was not easily achieved. In cases of controversy the Vatican may still seek to informally solicit the testimony of critics of a candidate for canonization. The British born American columnist Christopher Hitchens was famously asked to testify against the beatification of Mother Teresa in 2002, a role he would later humorously describe as being akin to "representing the Evil One, as it were, pro bono".^[2]

^{anyway i just thought that was all very interesting. what say you, keanu reeves?}

the subject:


the in-depth analysis:
me: !!!!!!!

hikatie: heeeheeeeeeeeee

me: omg that is SO cute

hikatie: i think i am dead from cute

chicago

well i am back from my trip to chicago!

let's see...wednesday night, my mom and i walked up and down the gold coast and looked at townhouses and condos we'll never be able to afford. we ate at ra sushi bar (sushi was pretty good and so was the miso soup) and picked my sister up from her class at second city.

thursday, my mom and i took a trip up to north kedzie in logan square to look at apartments. we ate at lula's cafe as suggested and it was fucking delicious. we walked around logan square and found a comic book store and a cheap movie theatre. we also randomly ran into gabe and jenna, which was nice because i had already started freaking out about how huge chicago was. i think this was the only day we had 'bad' weather, otherwise it was warm and cloud-free for the entire trip.

friday, my mom and i went to bucktown to look at a way overpriced apartment in a really cool area. we ate at babylon; the prices were decent (in fact, possibly better than aladdin cafe) but the service sucked (much like aladdin cafe). i had a really good falafel sandwich but i don't know that i'll be going out of my way to eat there. we came back and walked down the 'beaches' of lake michigan and then went to the hancock observatory where i managed to have a panic attack in front of everyone. i recovered and we took a boat tour from navy pier (we ran into one of leslie's friends here) and saw a great view of chicago from the lake. we ate dinner at pj clarke's, they had the best mini-cheeseburgers EVER but it was right next to this awful douchebag bar.

saturday morning, my sister and mom flew out. i took a bus to the shedd aquarium (it took over an hour to get there) and once i got there, the wait was 1.5 hours to get in. i didn't want to ruin my impression of shedd aquarium so i walked along a harbour and then crossed over to the art institute. on the way, i stopped by the chicago jazz festival. the art institute wasn't very crowded, i found out later that most of the impressionist art was actually on tour in texas, but i got to enjoy the asian and african art exhibits. i walked over to the blick art supply store in downtown and spent an hour looking at art supplies. then i took the train up to california and saw the most amazing apartment ever. i won't talk about it anymore because i don't want to jinx myself, but let's just say i REALLY want this apartment. i went back downtown and got my luggage, then headed back up the blue line to gabe and jenna's apartment. we stopped first at a noodle place (i can't remember the name) where jenna works and i ate some REALLY good pad thai.

sunday, i slept for most of the day and then spent some time on north avenue trying to find an ATM. i ended up eating at handlebar in wicker park. i have to say, the service was pretty awful but they made some REALLY good over easy eggs for me. i know that cooking eggs over easy is probably not that difficult but you would be surprised at how many places mess that order up. i think next time i go, i will sit on the patio because it looks beautiful. i just read a review of handlebar and i think it's hilarious because of the references to lost:

We didn't make the cut here [frowny face]...For some reason our server was just not into, eh, what's the word?... Oh yes, "serving". When it came time to pay the bill it got even worse. He straight up disappeared. I'm talking Benjamin Linus waking up in the desert type shit. For his sake, I hope our server knows how to disarm horsemen with AK-47s and I hope he made a reservation at the finest hotel in Tunis. For six years from now. ....I might come back and give it another shot sometime. But not with Hurley. He'd be so pissed!

when i got back gabe informed me that henry rollins bought a record from him off of ebay. i thought about the kjhk bathroom for a minute. then i got a taxi to take me to a property management office where i dropped off an application for the apartment i cannot talk about and we passed by a puerto rican music festival. i took the blue line to o'hare (which is super easy by the way) and then took almost an hour to get from the train all the way through security because all of the jerks in the world apparently work at o'hare.

(jenna's cats, they are so cute)

i think that's pretty much it. i had a GREAT time even though i was sick for a lot of my trip. i was really overwhelmed at first but overall i feel comfortable in chicago and i cannot wait to move.

i've officially christened chicago as i had my first full-blown panic attack here yesterday. it was hilarious! visitors at the hancock observatory yesterday got a special treat for their $15 (in addition, of course, to the view).

i've seen some amazing neighborhoods, eaten some amazing food, walked over 15 miles and dominated the train system here. i'm about to attempt to dominate the bus system. wish me luck.

i'm going there. tomorrow. i wish it was 2055 and aliens were attacking. oh well. i will spend my time hanging out with my mom (and my sister some) and looking at apartments. that's almost like being attacked by aliens.

in other news:

• i have a chest cold and i'm flying tomorrow.
  
• i am more than halfway through the fourth season of six feet under and not quite sure what i will do with myself once i'm finished. read? knit? learn judo?
• sweet potato fries.

finally, i wanted to post a part of the tribute written by janette (kent's wife) for kent's (my cousin) memorial service so bear with me. i keep having this overwhelming sense of his presence every once in a while and felt ready to reread this tribute (i've still been too upset to read it or look at the brochure i have of his artwork). anyway, here is the end of that tribute:
In going through some things the other day, I found a birthday card from a few years ago with two butterflies on the front. The preprinted message says, "May this be the beginning of a Magnificent Year." That is so appropriate for us because we always said that our dreams would come true "next year" or "2 years from now." The card was from him to me, and he had added his own words at the bottom. But the sentiment he wrote there could just as easily have been my words to him:

"My Sweetheart,
As I drove away with this card, I realized it may be the same card I chose last year. Maybe I'll make it a yearly tradition, until we arrive at THE Magnificent Year! But the journey itself is always magnificent with you by my side. The two lovely butterflies seem to recur again and again as my symbol for our transformational process You know how much you mean to me. I love you dearly and cannot imagine a life journey without you. May we always fly together !!"

i went to the red lyon on wednesday and the brooksider tonight. i'm getting my fill of douchebag bars. yay for me.

quote of the millennium:
"remember that bitch in high school who never let us pet her therapy dog?"

and later....
"well, she shouldn't have gotten such a cute therapy dog if she didn't want us to pet it."

so wise.

I GOT MY FIRST INTERVIEW!!!

it's a job with a huge company in chicago (not my #1 most favorite job) and the interview (by phone) is in late september (by then i'll know the status of my other applications). let's just say it was a big relief. i was beginning to feel invisible. i've applied for 34 jobs as of 8:27 p.m. yesterday.

sometime back in march, my digital camera broke. i'm super lazy AND couldn't locate my warranty card (the lens jammed?), so i didn't send it in until last week. it arrived yesterday and i can't tell you how happy i was! i have two other cameras (my mom's ol' canon rebel and my fisheye) that both use film and it's been a real pain to get the photos developed.

anyway, i wanted to take some pictures but i haven't been doing anything exciting recently, so i could only take two:


a) my new hair, cut last saturday by hannah

as you can see, i have fully embraced the natural wave (which has, in the past two years, turned into natural curl). the best part is that it looks pretty good without doing one goddamn thing to it. in fact, if i try to blow it out or mess with it too much, my hair loses its curl. this is awesome. less work = more better.






b) a picture of jon's cat franz. you can't quite tell because of the red lighting, but dude is fat. you might think that me calling franz fat is ironic because my cat is fat. BUT my cat is also four and weighs two pounds less. franz is less than a year old and weighs 14 lbs. jon has him on a diet so franz is starving and yesterday tried to eat my purse and a slice of pizza. poor little guy.





SOOOO thanks for the suggestions on chicago and keep them coming. my sister is taking a class and second city and apparently gets free tickets to one of their shows so that's exciting. so far i plan to hit up:

• chicago pub lib
• quimby's
• earwax
• the shedd (i didn't mention this because i figured it was obvs)
• hyde park
• lula
• myopic books
• udupi Palace

KEEP THE SUGGESTIONS COMING. i'm going to try to see a show too, we'll see.

ending points
1) i want these to be real, especially AIDS: the gay plague and BIRDS: they are fucking everywhere.
2) this is so true for me. the "random article" button is the new crack.

for today's class, two topics of discussion. respond to at least one topic.

a) what do you think about a four day work week? would you rather work four 10-hour days or five 8-hour days? i know that some of you don't work full time but my life with a full-time job is really similar to my life in high school (7:40 to 2:40 and then 10 hours of work a week and practice/meetings for some bullshit almost every day).

my co-worker jen said "hell yes, i'd work three 12-hour days if they'd let me". i don't know about that. a 10-hour day sounds ridiculously long but i would tolerate it if it meant i'd get a three-day weekend. i used to work 10-hour shifts at express and i spent the entire time on my feet, so it wouldn't be that bad. plus i think it'd save energy and certainly gas, as well as other expenses like paying for lunch if you have to eat out for lunch. i think it's a good idea.

b) help me plan my trip to chicago. seriously. i went once when i was 9ish and did the whole touristy boat tour of the river/go to the top of the sears tower/go to the hancock tower/go to the museums/go to nike town/go to miracle mile/eat some pizza. when i was 14ish my mom and i flew up for a day and covered most of the art museums. other than that, i have very little experience in chicago.

so help me discover the city where i plan to spend the next few years (at least). my mom is very into art galleries/art museums but other than that, she'll want to continue with the tourist crap and i'm not so into that. give me some ideas and keep in mind that i'll be traveling with my mom and my sister (at times).

i just wrote out this ridiculous blog about how i just found out about the death of an old associate's brother and it reminded me that i need to stop being such a miserable ingrate and then i observed that EVERYONE is a miserable ingrate. i deleted it because it had this air of superiority, like i was super awesome because "i'm not complacent" or something and people who think that their life is hard because of trivial crap like the fact that la prima tazza doesn't have sugar-free strawberry syrup are lesser beings.

bullshit.

we all have our faults. i have several and my biggest is a combination of being egocentric and depressed about my situation. sure, i have some things in my life that have been difficult for me to deal with... i also spend a lot of time whining about my own trivial crap. i'm definitely not better than anyone else. so i'm going to remember that and work to stop being judgmental AND to stop being so self-concerned. great.

i'm trying to think of ways to redeem this blog....

• http://dickipedia.org. it's pretty funny. read it. i enjoyed this part in particular (from flavor flav's entry): "Interestingly, a valid argument exists that Flav is entirely responsible for Public Enemy's popularity among white people who, in 1988, might have been initially turned off by Chuck D's black nationalism, but ultimately enjoyed dancing rappers in funny sunglasses." sigh. too bad that i unfortunately know from experience that chuck d is a dick too.
  
• ......
• okay i'm not getting anything good from stumbleupon. sorry. um...i got a haircut this weekend.
  
• i think i'll just call it a day and submit this entry as one of the suckiest entries evar. I WIN!
  

i keep getting spam messages from some fake e-mail pretending to be msnbc. they keep sending me breaking news headlines and the headlines are ridiculously funny:

• BREAKING NEWS: Michael Jackson is a hermaphrodite. Watch the video
• BREAKING NEWS: Catholic Church condemns metrosexuality
• BREAKING NEWS: Al Qaeda Reports Declining Revenues in Fiscal '08
• BREAKING NEWS: Unemployed to be used for soup
• BREAKING NEWS: Spongebob Squarepants not Shrek's father!
  

sat·ire- noun.
1.the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
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all of this controversy over the movie "tropic thunder" is really irritating. i saw a preview for this movie sometime earlier this year and i wasn't totally turned off, but i also wasn't that interested in seeing the movie. after all of this noise people keep making about black face and the portrayal of a "retarded character", i actually want to pay to see the movie even if i already get in for free just because i want to support what (i think is) the entire point.

okay, i know that i am a really privileged white girl and i probably don't have a whole lot of room to make judgments on people being too sensitive about things. i have relatives who fought in the revolutionary war, the civil war (both for the Confederacy and the Union [although more fought with the Confederacy]) and both World Wars, so i don't have any relatives who had to go through ellis island and struggled to make a living here (even the German part of my family still got here before ellis island opened in the 1890s and my grandpa (the German) grew up in a very poor part of Philadelphia but he is well off now). most of my relatives are middle to upper class white folks, all protestant christians (except for the small crazy group of them who follow the book of Urantia), most of them are republicans, most of them live in the south and most of them are college educated. no one is gay, no one is in a bi-racial relationship, none of them are mentally handicapped and none of them REALLY struggle. i am an extremely fortunate person (sheltered, even?) and i recognize this.

i'm also aware of our country's history of discrimination against racial minorities and people with disabilities. i know about minstrel shows, i know about jim crow laws and i know that there are still extreme racists out there and that an extreme percentage of black Americans are in prison or receiving welfare and that our country's education system is definitely still segregated in its own way (by class and race, in my opinion). (i feel like i should be quoting Tupac here)

however, i don't think this movie is meant to discriminate as much as it is meant to target self-absorbed hollywood stars. so many actors have this holier-than-thou act because they played a handicapped person and therefore they truly understand the hardships that come along with being or having to take care of someone who is handicapped. or because they played someone living on welfare, they understand what it is like. or because they played someone who was raped, they really know what it is like. they don't really understand or even care (at least, most of them don't); they want to play these parts to get publicity or to win awards. i assume that the point of this movie is that ben stiller pretends to care or identify with people who are mentally handicapped because he played 'simple jack', and robert downey jr knows what it's like to be a black man in America because he had cosmetic surgery. i feel this way about most actors out there, and i feel like it is this point the movie is trying to make. ben stiller and RDJ are not making fun of minorities, they are making fun of people who take advantage of minorities. i feel like, in a way, it's actually more respectful to those demographics and should be offensive (but hopefully eye-opening) only to the actors who pull these kinds of stunts. it's called a satire, people, and that's what this movie is. the groups that are up in arms about the movie should be more concerned about the actors who take advantage of these demographics to further their own careers.
i could be totally off base here, and i'm sorry to rant but i really had to get that off of my chest. i'm also the first to admit that i'm a very privileged person so i know that the fact that i haven't REALLY had to struggle definitely affects my viewpoint. i just saw on a facebook mini-feed today that a former friend of mine (same demographics as me) made some comment about how she will not see tropic thunder because black face is offensive, and it's that kind of ignorant crap that pisses me off. i just want people to really understand this stuff, or at least consider other things, before making snap judgments.

yesterday for the first time i slept through (part of) my shift at la prima tazza. there were reasons why it happened, not good ones, but i wasn't sitting around and picking my nose. anyway, i didn't feel as bad as i thought i would. i wasn't really letting anyone down (it was a barbacking shift and, in my opinion, unnecessary to be there before 9 on tuesdays anyway) so i didn't feel guilty. now i feel guilty, but only because at the time it felt sort of good to fuck up and not really care about it. is that bad?

And finally, I read today that Michael Phelps consumes 12000 calories a day. Yere are some comparable amounts:

• Twizlers - 750 single twizlers = 18.75lbs
• McDonalds Quarter Pounder with Cheese - 23 individual burgers = 10lbs
• Subways Cold Cut Combo "6 - 29 sandwiches = 14 feet for sandwich
• Pizza Hut Pan Pizza Pepperoni - 5 pizzas and 2 slices = Over 400 square inches of Pizza (9.4lbs)
• Doritos Cool Ranch - Five, 1 pound bags= 5.3 lbs and 600 grams of fat

i lost the list of things i wanted to do this summer when i deleted my blog. that's what i get for being semi-irrational. i know that i did go swimming in non-chlorinated waters, ate at different restaurants besides free state, participated in a morning show, rode my bike some. i still haven't done my 'one taco every day for one week' bit, but i'm planning on it for the first week of september. i didn't make a 'zine, i didn't participate in a 'field day olympics', i haven't been to any of the bars i wanted to visit. oh well. i'm going to make a list of things i want to accomplish before moving from lawrence and actually keep the list until i move.

LIST:

• Go to Kansas City to eat at Arthur Bryants, Phil's restaurant, Korma Sutra
• Go to KC to 18th and Vine district, Bodies exhibit, Nelson/Kemper
• Visit those goddamn bars
• Sell my desk and my bike
• Get rid of at least one box of crap before moving
• Run a 5k (September 13th)
• CONTRIBUTE TO A ZINE, JESUS H.
• Live music with Annie?
• Interview my grandparents via telephone
• Finish as much as I can of Six Feet Under
  

*That's it for now. I will edit later.

i am at the station, playing my last kjhk shift evar.

i have a dollar bill in my pocket that says 1 3 6 8 10 20 50 100 10000 1 mill pick one -> how many strippers butts do you think ive been in

good question.

hmm.
i liked this weekend. dealing with drunk, embarrassing friends was a total pain in the ass, but hysterically funny in retrospect. plus, it's worth it to have to defend one of your best friends who will move away from you forever in a week or two. kyle, sorry i wouldn't sleep in the same bed as you and you had to sleep with jake. everyone offended by kyle....whoops.

oh and i need to stop watching six feet under. i'm getting obsessed, not only with the show but with death itself. i'm starting to have those daydreams where i trip and fall and split my head open. bicycles are starting to scare me and i refuse to ride my bike until i get over this nonsense.

i need a mini-dan akroyd to sit on my shoulder 24/7. whenever i do/say/think something stupid, he will say "laura, you ignorant slut". this would be a dream.













YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at 10:57 this morning, i started to write yet another whiny blog.

between 10:58 a.m. and 3:09 p.m., I:

• talked to courtney on gmail
• talked to whitney on gmail about american idol auditions
  
• found my DREAM JOB (for serious this time!)
• started to plan my trip to chicago at the end of august (i haven't been for almost nine years, so if you have recommendations, GETATME)
• stumbled for about an hour (edit: on stumble upon, not because i'm drunk!)
  
• found this picture (it's kind of the story of my life...):
  
• read about auburn and alabama and ku football, all my teams are ranked in the top 30 (well technically top 25 and alabama is 26....because that's how preseason rankings go)
  
• remembered the link that i sent annie and my mom yesterday
• had a nice phone chat with my mom
• looked at more pictures of air force ones that i want to buy
  
• remembered that last week, i wrote on this very blog that i needed to STFU and do 'less whining'

okay! i'll stop it now. i have two months here and i want them to be good (just please don't get mad at me if i'm quiet or if i want to stay home and just lay on the couch because if i don't get the chance to whine i at least need to have a little lazy time to myself, accepting my awkwardness...okay?).

before i move, i will try the eucalyptus sauna. at least once.



it is so hot. i cannot wait for sweater weather!



good news! my parents are finally getting rain (they've had 1/4" of rain since early may). thank you mr. hurricane!



the end.

i'm for real starting my krapp's last tape project this year. there's so much that i don't want to forget. turning 24 seems like good place to start. i'm also going to start doing an oral history for my family. does anyone know anything about recording phone conversations? i don't really want to put someone like my grandpa (almost totally deaf) on speaker phone and tape record him that way. also, does anyone know how hard/possible it is to convert an audio tape over to a CD? or just record onto a CD? anyone?

gabe leaves tomorrow. jason leaves thursday-ish. julie leaves next week. i feel like that kid who walked across the stage but didn't get their diploma because they have to go to summer school. i'm leaving but i still feel like it's a little late. ah well. october is my favorite month and hopefully it will be a great one this year.

i have officially applied for twelve jobs.

i enjoyed the lightning this evening.

i think i might wear my peacock costume on friday. maybe.

goodbye gabe! have a safe trip!

i need to watch more 30 rock. hulu.com here i come!

this morning i started crying. i told myself that i was crying because i couldn't find anything to wear to work today.

things that are good right now:
a) living situation (and if we had a working television and my cat here i would cry tears of joy every night)
b) my jobs, i am seriously the luckiest girl in lawrence when it comes to my work situation
c) my committment to the task i set for myself last week: apply for one job every day and three on saturdays. good job, me!
d) i have the watchmen on my bedside table, wonder showzen in my dvd player and a working iPod.
e) okay i know that this is living situation-related but holy shit, i have been sleeping on two air mattresses since monday and that and the fact that my room is a cool 72 degrees has allowed me to sleep peacefully every night. it's amazing!!!!!!

for this next week:
- less pasta
- more goodbyes
- less crying for dumb reasons
- more smiling for dumb reasons
- less whining
- more cleaning up my f**king room!
- okay?


oh yeah and i still want to find out what the montauk monster is, jesus christ!

annie, i wish it was winter too. i hate summer, but not as much as i hate new year's. summer is a holiday, right? well, it's my second least favorite. i don't like sweating. i don't like sitting far away from people because it's too hot. i don't like having to move. i don't like having to work while other people play around. and i do NOT like skinny dipping.

no offense to people who enjoy these things.

i do like snow, ice, sweaters, cold puppies, red faces, mittens, boots, coats, a milleventy layers of clothing, christmas, birthdays (mine, my mom, my dad, my grandma, annie, the obornys, who else am i missing?), hot drinks, wearing socks ALL the time and a partridge in a pear tree.

sorry to be bitter about summer. i'm super tired and i HATE cleaning my house and i have soooo many bruises and i don't want to say goodbye to jason and julie and kyle (no offense to jason and gabe but i'll see you in two months). hrrrumph.

i got my first chicago job rejection yesterday. i submitted a resume and a cover letter and then had to take a personality test, which i seemingly failed. the only reason this pissed me off was that i was trying to be honest. i probably could have lied my ass off and gotten the job as i was qualified for it. you can't reapply for six months but i have half a mind to register a new email, apply, lie on the the personality test and then, if i get offered the job, tell them to fuck off. but i won't. pharmaceutical sales is probably not the way for me to go anyway. that's what happens when you start to become desperate for a job (is it too early to be desperate? i have more than two months...hmmmm).

i now live across the river. i feel weird.

i have a bag full of things that are not mine. i feel weird about returning them to certain people.

i have been applying for jobs (four now). my parents say that i shouldn't let my current boss(es) know i'm leaving until i absolutely have a job (okay not absolutely, but not until it looks like i am in the running for a job). i don't like this because a) the move is certain and b) i just feel weird not telling them. it doesn't feel good. my parents say i have to protect myself but i think if my bosses knew i was leaving they would be proud of me and if there was some weird freakish thing (knock on wood) that prevented the move (even temporarily), that they would be okay with me staying.

i miss my cat.

um...nick's house is awesome. my room is huge. the walls are red. i like the artwork.

i don't remember what else. i just feel weird.

april was in town. it was awesome. i think the last time i've had this much to drink this many days in a row was CMJ in 2005 when we were basically force fed sparks. beautiful.

let's see-- she came in town wednesday, we went to free state and i drank there...i didn't go out that night because i had to pack so that was my less-wild night.

thursday was the potluck and it was SO much fun. i always forget how much i love burnt marshmallows. i had ridiculous amounts to drink this night, drank more at the taproom, was in bed by 11:30 but still woke up in the middle of the night needing to projectile vomit. luckily i was able to keep everything down before i passed out again.

friday i let april DJ most of my radio show, napped and then went to the taproom around 11. got so out of control that by 12:30 i fell down the smoking stairs and really hurt my foot. i kept dancing, which was a bad decision because i'm sure that made my foot worse. no matter, i have a sweet bruise now. we left and then went back to the taproom to pick up nick, drove to burrito king, drove to annie's to smoke, passed out around 3ish? i didn't wake up saturday until 1 and even then i didn't want to move.

saturday i slept most of the day, stopped by adam lott's birthday party and then went to grant's house. i checked out everyone's new tattoos, remembered how badly i want one, and hugged kyle over 100000 times. we went to the replay, the jackpot and sylas and maddys. i cried at the jackpot...a lot...60% because i was sad about people moving and 40% because i was out-of-control intoxicated. we danced to mariah carey (the fourth or fifth time i had heard 'always be my baby' in one day...remembered that i need to find my 'butterfly' album) and that one song from the babysitter's club. remembered that i need to rent the babysitter's club. april and i went to burrito king AGAIN and then passed out around 2:30.

today i'm definitely paying for my choices and i don't have any regrets....well, i DO wish i hadn't cried so much but oh well. in retrospect, that was pretty hilarious-- i hate drunk criers in public and i got to be one! heather, april, annie and nick helped me move all of my shit in 1.5 hours. i really sort of lucked out in the friends department, i'm almost jealous of myself. now i'm going to eat miltons, take a shower, pack up two more boxes and take one of the greatest naps ever. thank you if you were a part of my weekend and if you weren't, why not?/i miss you!

oh! anyone want my peacock feather part of my costume? i can't bear to throw away 10 hours of work.

and that is how you become a packrat.

lolcats have eaten my brains

me: oh man, i just had a really hard time remembering how to spell was
Whitney: Explain exactly what happened.

me: i was trying to ask my friend if someone she was talking about was from lawrence

and at first i typed whas

and then i was like ...whus?

and then i remembered that there isn't an H

it was really scary
Whitney: Did you default in LOLspeak?!Seriously?

me: yes, i think i did

Whitney: That's fucking amazing.

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so this morning i went to a gas station and paid for a dr. pepper, a water and some gum with what i am pretty positive was a $20 bill. the reason why i am so sure about this is i didn't have any cash yesterday until i cashed out my paycheck at la prima tazza and got three twenties, a ten, a couple of ones and some change. i deposited $50 into my bank account which means i had a twenty and the ones and change left over. i didn't go out at all last night because i was at home packing so i am positive i didn't spend anything.

anyway, the 'bill' came to $4.80 and i gave her the $20. she gives me 20c back and tells me to have a good day. i start to walk off and then turn around and say, 'um, i think i gave you a twenty?'. she starts to get really defensive and says, 'no, i'm positive you gave me a five. i know you did, i put it in the $5 drawer and gave you twenty cents back. you definitely gave me a five.' i just stood there for a few seconds and then walked off, i was already late to work and haven't been sleeping well and didn't feel like arguing.

this brings up three points:
1) how do you prove to someone that you definitely gave them a 20$ when they are sure you gave them a $5?
2) it makes me mad that enough people probably try this move as a scam so that managers have to be totally anal about drawers balancing out. i think courtney used to work at best buy and employees would get written off if their drawers were off more than a few bucks. it's ridiculous to expect someone, especially in a place as busy as a gas station or best buy, to never make a mistake. its more ridiculous that managers have to expect perfection because people steal from them all the time.
3) i am so positive that i gave the girl a $20 but then again, i had a 30 second brain fart in which i forgot to spell 'was' (see above). did i really give her a $5? i really don't think i did but i have read that you can form memories to the way you want them to go...can you do that with super short term memory? i am freaking myself out now but i don't want to have early onset dementia or something like that (RIP ESTELLE GETTY).

anyway, i might be out $15 and i might not. who knows? i'm not as worried about losing the actual money as i am the three aforementioned reasons. i think i need to stop thinking and just sit down before i hurt myself.

i guess i'm gonna fade into bolivian....

so angry about landlord assholes (GAGE MANAGEMENT, FOR THE LOSS!), possible carbon monoxide poisoning, and people who don't care how bad they make others feel....that the only remedy is to list some of my favorite mike tyson quotes:

On Lennox Lewis
"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

On Evander Holyfield
After biting Holyfield he said, "This is my career. I have children to raise. I have to retaliate. He butted me. Look at me. My kids will be scared of me."

On Razor Ruddock
"You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."

On Tyrell Biggs
Tyson on Tyrell Biggs' complaining to him about low blows: "Low blows? Low blows? Huh! Motherf**ker you're fittin' to die!"
"He was screaming like my wife."

On His Wife
"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her."

On His Time in Prison
"When I was in prison, I was wrapped up in all those deep books - that Tolstoy crap. People shouldn't read that stuff. When we read those books, what purpose does it serve in this day and time?"

On Boxing
"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

On the Media
“I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain.”
"I just seem to keep buying more and more Bentleys"
"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I was 13 years old."

On Himself
"I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm also not Charles Manson!"
"I'm just like you. I enjoy the forbidden fruits in life, too. I think it's un-American not to go out with a woman, not to be with a beautiful woman, not to get my dick sucked ... "

On His Mental Health
"I don't know if I'm mentally sick, but I have... episodes sometimes. I'm a depressant kind of dude. I have episodes, and I'm human. But no one cares about my health as a human because sometimes I'm in my episodes when I'm at work."
"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."

On America
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime."

Miscellaneous Quotes
"He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”
"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."
"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."
"I like the British bikes. I like British people. They're real mellow."
"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."
"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your f**king ass."
"I just want to conquer people and their souls."

i found my shoes about one hour after i posted last. they were in my suitcase. oops!

not sure what else to say, but i do feel obligated to post this:


WOOHOO!!!! hopefully my imax experience this time will be different from my experience when i saw the 300 at the imax on opening night. oh well. yay movies!